Feeling Like an Ocean Liner? Just One of Those Days {originally posted Tuesday, June 8, 2010}

Having a "fat day".Notice the double chin no one else sees.
Lookin back at old pictures when you were thinner.
ALL DANGEROUS! even those who are comfortable in their own skin seem to have one of those days every once in a while. me? well, once a month it usually comes around. hormones suck. the bloating, the self critique of the body, all stem from my little friend...PMS. chemicals racing through my blood and into my brain, testing my confidence in my body image, telling me I’m chubby. and it's when I crave the food that isn't going to help my situation. the irritability and mood swings, this type relates to the balance between estrogen and progesterone. If estrogen predominates, anxiety occurs. If there's more progesterone, depression comes a knockin at your bloated belly's door.
Back in ancient Greece, men thought when a woman was moody or anxious around her menstruation was because she had a wondering uterus. the only way to fix her mood and wandering uterus was to nail it down in her belly with her husbands’ seed. HAHA! men were so dumb! little did they know that the hormone levels only continue to increase as the baby grows. if Greek men thought PMS was bad, the following is a list that includes but not limited to; strong feeling of sadness or guilt, difficulty sleeping even when tried, crying all the time, sleeping all of the time, even when the baby is awake. being unable to eat, even when hungry, worrying about the baby too much. oh, and panic attacks, feelings of anger toward the baby, and thoughts about harming the baby or yourself.
And I thought hormones making me think I’m fat were bad. try having your hormones make you think terrible things about your baby. terrifying stuff ladies! but thank goodness women have equal rights and access to highly trained doctors.
It's days like today when I say to myself, I’m going to lose weight! I’m going to do it! I’m going to eat better and exercise all the time everyday. it's also days like today when all I want is to sit in the basement stuffing popcorn in my mouth watching the always awesome programming of TLC. nothing like say yes to the dress to remind me of how much thinner I want to be by the time I go looking for a wedding dress! AHH! I can't get away from it! my bat wing biceps and buttery booty have struck again!
Does making light of it help? sometimes. I just hope there's someone out there who feels the same way and takes encouragement in the fact that there is at least one other person in this world who's trying to love them self in spite of their mean girl hormones. I swear mine should be named Regina George and Lindsay Lohan.
Something about celery doesn't quite speak to my PMS cravings like ice cream does. here's to all the ladies with raised progesterone or estrogen levels today!
nom! nom! nom!


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